There are times when anger may be an appropriate response to misbehavior. Last week I mentioned that the title of my program, "Discipline Without Anger", is not meant to suggest that anger is never an acceptable answer to misbehavior. There are occasionally specific situations when anger is the only appropriate response. However, in most cases these kinds of situations are rare. In any case, supervisors would still be wise to be prepared if and when they do occur.
Situations When an Angry Response to Misbehavior Is Okay
1)When extreme disrespect occurs.
2) When someone’s safety is in danger or threatened.
3) When a person refuses to cooperate.
4) When dishonesty occurs.
Sometimes there is just no way to get around the use of anger. The goal of my program is to try to eliminate the misuse of this behavior, but not necessarily to totally do away with it. Supervisors should make their best effort use anger as a strategy only when it is appropriate, and never out of stress or frustration
Worthy leaders will realize that there are often cases of misbehavior that need correction but that do not require anger. The ones who can tell the difference will be way ahead of many of their peers and will often be able to reach a much higher level of success than those who simply resort to anger as a catch all solution to every problem.
Sometimes people get the wrong idea about the title of my program “Discipline Without Anger.” They think that I am saying that there is never a time when getting angry is an appropriate response for undesirable behavior. This is definitely not the case.
There are certainly times when anger is an appropriate course of action. The point of my program, however, is to teach that anger and intimidation should not be used to handle EVERY discipline issue that comes up. This method is too often overused when it is actually not the most appropriate, or effective course of action. The times when the use of anger is best are actually somewhat uncommon. Wise leaders will study this topic and be able to recognize when these times are occurring, and when they are not.
*Next week I will talk about some specific cases when anger may be an appropriate solution to misbehavior.
I have been in leadership positions for many years, and there are three things that stand out as being the most important parts of a good discipline plan: 1. Communication 2. Communication 3. Communication. Whether you are a teacher, coach, parent, or business leader, great communication is by far the most important thing to have when it comes to discipline.
The people that you supervise MUST know what you expect, and they must know what will happen to them if they do not meet your expectations. The more clear these things are, the better. The nature of expectations and consequences is important also (their fairness, enforceability, etc.) but clarity in communication is a must. So if you find yourself in a leadership position and you want to insure certain behaviors by the people whom you supervise, you must communicate!
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